Fantasy Facebook

Alright lid.

Hope you had a nice summer off.  The new season is upon us though.  The stuff that makes your heart skip a bit, Hibbert to score his first goal in an Everton shirt, the strongest squad since the eighties making a real go at some silverware (bollocks to all this 'top 4' shite - I'm a traditionist), some bright new talent, some experienced players at their prime.  It's now or never, this is the Everton Golden Generation and the point that DM has been working towards.  Let's see what can fuck it up for us then eh?

So to get us back on an even keel, I'm stealing the content of this post from Kipper because it's a class thread and made me laugh a few times.  It's been running for twelve months now, have a mooch at the full thing but here's the highlights.

All credit to: Bluekipper
The OP: The_La
and every other contributer.

FANTASY FACEBOOK STATUSES

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Tim Howard FUCK TWAT WANK SHITE GAY

Mikel Arteta likes this

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Tony Hibbert took the quiz: 'Which Everton player are you?' The result was: 'Inconclusive'

Leon Osman likes this

David Moyes: FPMSL!
Carlo Nash: You an all?

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Bill Kenwright has joined the "looking for investment group".

Click HERE to join this group,
or go away and ponder/mull/think about it for a while.


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Dan Gosling has just made a big step up in his career.
Shola Ameobi, Sol Campbell & 49 others like this.

David Moyes as if Dan, dry your eyes mate.
Tony Hibbert Hehe, good one boss.
Mageye Gueye =D

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Carlo Nash and James Beattie are now friends.

James Beattie and Roy Hodgson are now friends.
Davy Moyes and 36,580 others like this.

Lukas Jutkiewicz and Lee Carsley are now friends. Kieran Agard likes this.

Steven Pienaar just poked God.

Andy Van der Meyde just bought 4 Chang at Tescos. Result!!

Dan Gosling has just bought a new overcoat.

Wayne Rooney is off to Florida! Coleen Rooney doesn't like this!!!

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Anthony James Hibbert - Haha red n white shite hello hello..... murrderrrersss

Andrew Johnson, Duncan Ferguson, Micheal Ball and 21 others like this.

Phillip Neville: I wish you wouldn't do this Tony, it makes us all look bad

Anthony James Hibbert: Haha sorry gaffer, wat you gona do, tell on me pippy?

Mikel Arteta: haha pippy lol

Phillip Neville: Please don't get involved Mikel I thought you where better than this

Joleon Lescott likes this comment

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Landon Donovan is waiting for a call from Everton.... :-)
About 1 hour ago

Phil Neville, David Moyes, Tim Howard and 40,000 others liked this.

Bill Kenwright: Watch this space, Landon!

David Moyes: Oh for fuck's sake Bill....

Paul Gregg: Have you not got any money left from the Fortress fund Bill? *sniggers*

Keith Wyness: LOLZ!!!!

Trevor Birch: Hahahaha - nice one Paul! Don't hold your breath, Landon!

Bill Kenwright: Carts.

Landon Donovan: :-(

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Yakubu Aiyegbeni Who's Purple Aki?
Comment Like? Dislike

about a minute ago

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John Terry joined the group - Sex isn't everything in a relationship, some just want a good sandwich.

Yakubu likes this

Jose Mourinho LOL

Victor Anichebe - "You would Yak lad"

Anthony James Hibbert - I kno what u mean boys haha

Maro 'Felly' Fellaini - Fuck off

Jamie 'Carragold 24" Carragher '5times baby' - Ah bitters

Anthony James Hibbert just poked Jamie 'Carragold24 Carragher '5times baby'.

The Pan Calling The Kettle Black Arse

The Koppites have been very fond of labelling Evertonians as 'bitter blues' whenever we have challenged their arrogance, obsession with history and blatant superiority complex in recent years.

"18 duck 5. You acerbity crossbreed." they would tell us in Norwegian.

note: this is a bad online translation of the phrase '18 and 5. You bitter bastard.'

It is they though who have showed an incredible degree for pure, genuine bitterness in the past few weeks towards Manchester United. They have become obsessed with United making the record of English title triumphs their own and many of them even wished for their own team to lose to Chelsea last week to ensure that didn't happen. Some have even hailed Gerrard as a true red for the backpass that gifted Chelsea their opener. This is bitterness beyond belief and although it seems they got their wish with regards to the destination of the title, they can never call me bitter again.

It's not about bitterness though because although I can't speak for every Evertonian on earth, I can honestly say that I've never been jealous of the success they enjoyed when I was a kid. I do find though that Evertonians who grew up in Liverpool during the seventies and early eighties had to ensure so much shit from our inbred cousins across the park that it's kind of left a stain on our souls that means every time they fail, each disaster that the club endures, we see it as a little bit of karma payback. Alot of Blues will tell you that they don't give a shite what Liverpool do. I'll guarantee that most of those people don't fall into the '70s/80s/Liverpool' bracket outlined above.

'Liverpool Are Magic, Everton Are Tragic' sang the squeaky voiced Emlyn and look what happened to him.

From my personal viewpoint, I'd support any team on the planet against LFC. Even a Saddam Hussein XI. This is not bitterness, just an ingrained hatred of Liverpool FC and everything they stand for.

I've NEVER owned a red car and never will. I had a maroon Mondeo once but they was a little close to the edge so I crashed it. Me and my mate Eggg'ead picked up a rental in Prague for the drive across to Nuremburg a couple of years ago in the UEFA Cup and almost asked for a different car because it was RED!!

I don't really wear red clothes. The missus often gets me red stuff just to piss me off but I keep it indoors like a dirty secret.

If YNWA happens to be sung by a contestant on XFactor or something I instantly harbour a pathalogical hatred towards them.

I don't allow red to be used as a paint in the house because it makes me sick.

I even look at my wrists and note that my blood is blue.

Maybe then I've managed to explain a little about why I hate Liverpool so passionately. On this, the last day of the season, they have just about managed to finish a place above us, Everton, a team that lost the first four months of the season to injury and a team that has spent multi-multi millions less than them in the transfer market.